somebody needs take ebay off of my computer, at least take access away from me. i've been going crazy bidding on stuff. i have two packages being delievered to me from london and new york i've been buying smurf figurines all weekend. that is how i spent my labor day weekend, sitting in front of the computer.

this weekend is labor day weekend. i don't have any thing planned this weekend. i'll probably catch up on some much needed sleep. brian and i were thinking about taking a drive to payson, but i'm not sure if i want to spend my weekend driving around. i feel like just vegetating in my living room.

nothing much has been happening in my neck of the woods. i just come home from work, eat dinner, watch tv, and then go to bed at night and start all over again the next day. it's like i've turned into an old fart in a little over a year. i think it started ever since i started working at my current job. i'm not motivated to do anything anymore. the only time i leave my apartment is on the weekends. that's when i hit the yard sales and flea markets. i've been doing this for a little over a year now and i found some wonderful things at a bargain of a price! i like to collect very old things. a lot of the stuff that i collect are old bottles, soda bottles and toys from back in the day. i don't know why i go crazy over stuff like this, but all i gotta say is that it makes me happy and it also gives me something to do. a month ago i bought a record player. i think it's the coolest thing next to my dolls of the world korean barbie. my record player is the best. i can listen to some old ass tunes in my raggy clothes, bushy hair, with not a care in the world. these days my search is for records. last weekend i bought michael jackson 'thriller' for only a buck. i got a few records in my collection, but i'm looking to add more to my collection.

anyway, next weekend we're going to the navajo nation fair. my main purpose is to hit the flea market and watch the annual parade. the carnies doesn't thrill me anymore, but when i was in school, i walked around the carnies like a bad ass, thinking i was soooooo cool, but i guess times change and we grow older, wiser and well i guess just boring! haha. i'm kidding, but yeah, it was cool back in the days, being with friends, eating curly fries, and riding the rides.

my cox high speed internet sucks! the other day i supposedly posted something, but it just magically disappeared. i hate cox. i've called tech service several times to ask them why my internet keeps going down. they always ask me if i have all my cables plugged in. it's the same old routine. i'm tired of calling over there. i wonder if i'm the only one experiencing this problem? i don't know, it might be the outside line that runs into my apartment. i'm just gettting sick of this bullshit.

i see that we are getting another monsoon storm this evening. i hope it floods the shit out of this place. i'm tired of it being hot all the time and why the hell does it always seem to freaking storm in the evenings instead of during the day? i remember when we used to have some scary monsoon storms. i want them back! i used to hate it back then though. i didn't have a vehicle in my early years and i had to ride the city bus. that sucked. to be on a city bus wet as dog, and then to have to smell peoples smelly ass body odor. anyway, hopefully this posts because i'm not going to type this again. good nite y'all.

gosh, i really don't know what to say. a lot of bad, bad, things have happened these past months. because of this i haven't blogged in a while. it seems like if i mention any part of my life on this blog, shit only gets worse. fuck it, we only live once.

last month a dear friend and coworker of mine lost the love of her life. its so sad to even think or write about it. my coworker has been with her boyfriend for 15 long years. i pray for her and her two boys a lot. she tells me that it's hard to be home in the evenings. I just wish there were some comforting words that i could tell her to ease her pain, but i know that only time will heal. i know right now nothing i say will make her feel better. i cannot imagine what she is going through. i have never lost any one that close to me.

it was on a sunday morning that my friend called me. it was around 7:00 am. i was awake, but still rolling around in my bed when i heard my phone ring. i answered the phone and heard my friend on the other line. the first words she said was that she had some bad news. for a second i thought of what could be such bad news so early on a sunday morning, but nothing came to my mind and i sat and listened to what she had to say. i could tell that she had been crying earlier by the tone of her voice, so i knew it was bad. it took her about a minute to tell me what was going on. she told me that they couldn't find her boyfriend. i was confused at first and was wondering what she was talking about and then she told me that on saturday he went to the salt river. that's when it hit me. on saturday her boyfriend had asked brian if he wanted to go tubing, but brian declined the offer because we were planning on going to see some movies that day. i think my mind was running a million miles minute after that. she went on to say that she went to go pick him up at the time they were supposed to meet that day, but she said that they kept waiting for him and he never showed up. she said that it begain to get dark and finally they had no choice and went to the police. the police told her that there were a lot of witnesses. they saw her boyfriend getting off of his raft and swimming, but then they noticed that he looked like he was struggling and they asked him if he needed help, but her boyfriend didn't say anything. they said that it looked like he was swimming towards a diving rock, but for some reason he was having trouble. i guess he just never came back up. they formed a human chain across the river to search, but they didn't find him.

gawd, sometimes i wonder why god takes people so early in their lives. i know that he has a purpose, but sometimes it's just hard to understand, even for me. my friend's boyfriend threw scrumptious barbeques. he was the barbeque king! he was a kind, generous, and giving person. he never thought about himself. he always took his time to help others out before him and it's just so sad to see him go so soon. brian and i are still in shock. i wonder sometimes, what if brian would have gone with him that day. would he have saved him from drowning or would he have drowned himself? we will never know. i remember my dad was speaking to my friend in navajo. he told her "please don't blame god".

San Antonio

life seems to be back to normal again, so far. i better not jinx my self. the truck is fixed. it took about 7 days to get it back from the place that was fixing it. i got a letter in the mail yesterday stating all the charges that guy has against him. i can request restitution if i want and i have already. i hope that guy has learned his lesson. i looked his name up in the arizona courts and he has a bunch of charges already on him. anyway, the above picture is from the trip to texas. this picture was taken in harker heights texas. it's a little town next to killeen, texas. check out how green it is out there! i wish this place was like this.

just when i thought things were starting to look good, i run into another streak of bad luck. last thursday some fucking drunk ran into our truck. what is so fucking retarded is that the truck was parked in a parking lot and the bastard ran into it. yes, the fucking bastard was DRUNK and you know what is so fucking great???!!!??!!!! the drunk guy had to be a navajo with no fucking insurance!!!!!! there is over a million people living in phoenix and a damn fucking drunk navajo had to run into me. why couldn't it be a rich white person with some insurance????!!!! 

My trip to texas was amazing! it rained just about the whole time we were there. it was damn humid too. you can walk outside and get sticky in a second. what was so amazing about my trip was that i got to see my mother and witness a memorable moment....watching my sister graduate from basic training. what is so shocking is that she was the kind of person that had the 'i don't give a shit attitude' and was such a messy and lazy person. those six weeks she's been there has really changed her. meeting my mom for the first time again was a terrifying experience. i had butterflies in my stomach the whole time. i got to spend 3 whole days with her. we are planning on visiting her in another six months. this picture was taken at the lackland air force base. 

graduation day for my sister! 

my journey to san antonio is nearing. Tomorrow i work until 3:30 pm. I'm planning on leaving to my dad's house in ft. Defiance after work tomorrow. Wednesday is our day of travel. I was checking how long it would take to get to our destination. a whopping 14-17 hrs. ugghhh, i think my ass will be numb by the time we get to san antonio. anyway, i got brian to go with me and well, we are going to see my mum. i haven't seen her in over 16 years! it sure is gonna be something..... i'm so ready to go, but at the same time i have a lot of anxiety. i haven't seen my mum in so long and well, i don't know what to expect. i'll just cross my fingers and hope that she doesn't think i'm still that 5 year old little girl that left her so many years ago. actually, we didn't leave her, she left us, but anyway, that's the past and i've totally forgiven her. so, i guess wish me luck! MY SISTER IS GRADUATING FROM BASIC TRAINING FROM THE AIR FORCE! MY SISTER JUST RECEIVED HER AIRMAN'S COIN FROM SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETING WARRIOR WEEK!!! YIPEE!!!