dang, it's been a long time since i've wrote in this thing......i'm still here though, it's either at work or home. i think i'm getting sick. i have a sore throat and my body is aching.

aww shit, i hate when tax season comes! 2003 really got the best of me and now i have to suffer with having to back a shit load of money to uncle sam. that really blows. i had a lot of plans. i'm finally paying off my car next month and i was thinking about saving the extra money to try and put a down payment on a house. it really sucks to think that i had all these ideas/plans in my head and then to have it all come crashing down. i think this will probably set me back almost a year again. oh well, i've finally got used to the idea. it just makes me depressed sometimes just thinking about it.

i went back to fort defiance this past weekend to see my sister. i threw a big party for her. she enlisted in the air force. she left this past tuesday. she is in san antonio, texas at the moment. they are probably busting her ass by now. poor thing, i don't think she was really ready to go. she was living in albuquerque. she moved all her stuff back to my dad's house about 2 weeks ago. that girl did every thing at the last minute. she's going to be in san antonio for 8 weeks and then after that she will be in wichita falls, texas. i wonder if she is regretting it? i'm hoping she gets to call my dad or i this weekend. it sure would be great to hear from her. i've been worrying about her ever since she left.

today was a good day. i asked for a raise and i got one. i guess sometimes it doesn't hurt to ask. my co-worker and i started almost at the same time. she started about 3 1/2 months after me. we both got a raise. i think they desperately want us to stay. they have had several people leave from my position and i've been there the longest so far. i've been there a little over six months and so far i've got two raises. the pay is alright, though i used to make more, but i know that when you change into a whole new field of work that you will most likely have to start all over again. i'm up for it though. this place actually has good benefits, bonuses, and VACATION. i haven't had vacation in a long time. i think it's been 7 years. so far, i've been with this company for almost 7 months. my, my, my, how time can just fly by.....and just think i was going to school part time and working full time around this time last year.

i still work at home too. i think i make more working from home than the full time job i have during the day. i can work about 3-4 hours at night after i come home from my full time job and make at least 120 bucks. i'm so glad for the 2nd job though. i think i got too spoiled when i used to work full time at the other job. the 2nd job is play money for me and it lets me spend when i want to spend. you know, sometimes when i'm so stressed out or feel so overwhelmed i just go to the local flea market or even the mall and just spend. i know it's bad, but it really makes me feel good. i could be paying off my credit cards, but i think sometimes a person should just go all out and treat themselves with something sometimes.

what a gawd awful day. about 30 minutes before i'm supposed to go home from work all hell breaks loose. i got parents in the waiting area waiting to be seen by the doctor for a pyschiatric evaluation. i goofed, i admit it. the child and his parents were waiting for the doctor for nothing. the kid hasn't even been enrolled with our agency. i don't know what happened. there was some kind of mix up and i will definitely take the blame.

another thing happened today too. i just totally blew my lid. i got mad at a boss lady that is from a different department. i know i had reason to get mad at her. i was making several copies at the copy machine. the copier was spitting out sorted pages that were 40 something pages each. i was making 40 copies of 40 something pages and this bitch decides to stop the copier to make 7 copies. i cannot believe she had the nerve to do that. all i say is that she so fucking disrespectful. she could of asked me if she could make copies of what ever she was copying but she didn't. i certainly don't take shit from any one any more. i realize now that if you don't say any thing that things will never change.

i am a little disgusted.......i don't know about y'all, but i really despise unexpected visitors. i really hate when people show up at your door without giving a call ahead of time to let you know that they are coming, especially if they are out of town visitors.

yes, i'm talking about brian's sister and her family. i mean, they are really cool and nice, but i just hate the fact that they come down to phoenix unannounced and expecting a hand out. i am not lieing, they really do expect a hand out. they come down with a almost broken car, no money, and a baby! why on earth do you want to bring down a baby when you know that the car can barely make it down to phoenix. i just got news a little while ago that they will be staying for a week. argghh..i feel like pulling my hair out. i don't feel like supporting people that like to sponge off of other people. i really don't. i'm sorry, i may sound mean, but this is not the first time this has happened. sooner or later i'll finally have the guts to say something, but for now i'm just a little too chicken. all i can do for now is bitch about it in this blog.

anyway, on a happier note. yay, tomorrow is friday!

i posted the other day. i actually had something worth talking about, but lost every thing. i hate when that happens. i knew in the back of mind, i was thinking i should copy it first before i post so if for some reason it didn't post i could always paste it into a new screen.

nothing new happening in my life. my life is so monotonous. it's the same routine every day. i wake up, take a shower, fight traffic to work, work my ass off, take my lunch driving around downtown trying to look for a good place to eat lunch, go back to work, work my ass off again until the day is done, go home, change clothes, sit in front of the computer at home so i can work some more, eat dinner in front of the computer, glance at the tv while working in front of the computer, finish work around 9 or 10 pm, watch the evening news, relax a little, and then get ready for bed to start a whole new day again. i swear, this is what i do every day of the week. every once in a while though, i do take a break and eat at some fancy restaraunt to soothe my cravings, relax, and just take a load off. a nice big cup of margarita and dinner is really good after a long days work.

it's getting pretty hot here in phoenix. i think we hit the high 90s today. i hate it. our air conditioner in the office isn't really effective in cooling us down so we have to end up bringing in a fan. my coworker and i work in a small compact office with a bunch of medical files. yay, lots of shit green medical charts basically surround our desks. i hate them charts. they fuck up my nails and give me some painful hang nails. fucking charts. if i could, i would burn them...

i wanted to go to target this evening ,but work took me longer than i thought tonight. i wanted to get the mona lisa smile dvd. i could go to walmart and pick me up a copy, but i don't want to go to walmart. that place is an animal house. i hate going to the one that is near my apartment. you get hounded by people who try to sell you tamales. oh well, i can wait until this weekend to pick me up a copy. what i really need to do is sit down for the rest of the evening and relax. good night y'all.

ok, i posted, but lost every thing...i'll try again another day.

man.....today was such a lazy freaking day. i swear, i downed two cups of coffee, 4 pieces of chocolate, and two dr. peppers. it didn't help at all. i drank all that crap thinking that i would get a burst of energy. i felt like if i layed down on the floor i would probably fall asleep. i was that close to laying my head down onto my desk today, but i was too afraid i was gonna fall asleep. i think it's the sudden change of the weather today. today, was unusually warm. i didn't like it one bit. i hate when it gets too warm. it's beginning to be that time again. i dread the summer. i hate sweating. it makes my forehead break out. not into big pimples, but those litte annoying ones....shit, here comes the summer and all that dreadful heat. i remember one year when i first moved to phoenix we actually cracked an egg on the asphalt and it actually started to slowly cook. that's how hot it can freaking get around here during the summer time.

i worked a bit tonight. i didn't get to work as much as i wanted to, but i shouldn't complain. i'm tired as it is, and i shouldn't be pushing it. tomorrow will only be half through the week. i'm really surprised that tomorrow is already wednesday though. that reminds me...i need to start doing my taxes. i know i owe a shit load of money. i haven't received my 1099 in the mail. the dumb asses at the other job sent it to my old address. that totally blows...i've never, ever, received anything back on taxes, EVER!

the state play offs is coming into town. my dad is paying me a visit this weekend. he wants to watch the 1a and 2a games. then he says he's going to leave sunday back to the rez and be back thursday to watch the 3a and 4a games. february is my favorite month of the year. this is the month my dad always comes to visit me. i can't wait until he comes. i just need to clean a bit and hide a couple of things in the apartment because he just doesn't need to see some of things i have....ha!

anyway, work is still the same. i've been working at home for the other job. it's great! i'm really beginning to like working at home. i've been making a killing too, so i can't complain. if they are willing to pay out, then i'm all for it, shit.

days are going by too fast for me. i've been tooooooo busy....tooo many things going on, it's just too bad that i don't have time to blog about it anymore.

yep, it's been a long time...yes, i know, and there really hasn't been much going on in my life either. i just don't feel like looking at a computer screen that much anymore, especially after a long days work. maybe, someday i'll feel up to it again.

i heard today that my other job wants us back in the office again. i don't understand why they can't make up their fucking minds. i mean, all along we've been fighting to stay in the office. i guess they must have realized that working from home isn't going to work out. i mean, we did the majority of the work in the office. how did they think that we were going to do it at home? i just don't understand people. we've whined and cried to them that it wasn't going to work and now they finally realized that it wasn't. this is nuts......

awww....i need to calm my nerves...i'm gonna beg for some sex.....

arghhh....i'm in a bit of a dilemma, so much shit has been happening to me and my family. i can't really talk about it now because i've got to let things settle before i blow my lid.

i also brought back the computer from work. i did a crazy thing though. i formated it, and well, there's some things i just can't get working again. i need to search for a certain driver for the video card, but then again, i'm thinking that the windows that i use isn't compatible with the video card. dang, shit i get myself into! anyway, my screen resolution is 640x480 right now and i feel like a blind bastard at the moment because everything is so freaking huge.

i'm leaving for the rez in a couple of hours. i haven't been to work in the past two days. i need this little vacation. i also need to kick someone's ass when i get to the rez. she better watch out cause the bitch is on her way...