arghhh....i'm in a bit of a dilemma, so much shit has been happening to me and my family. i can't really talk about it now because i've got to let things settle before i blow my lid.

i also brought back the computer from work. i did a crazy thing though. i formated it, and well, there's some things i just can't get working again. i need to search for a certain driver for the video card, but then again, i'm thinking that the windows that i use isn't compatible with the video card. dang, shit i get myself into! anyway, my screen resolution is 640x480 right now and i feel like a blind bastard at the moment because everything is so freaking huge.

i'm leaving for the rez in a couple of hours. i haven't been to work in the past two days. i need this little vacation. i also need to kick someone's ass when i get to the rez. she better watch out cause the bitch is on her way...

ADD, ADHD, obcessive compulsive disorder, Zyprexa, Straterra......blah, blah blah, my brain is in overload mode. i think i'm already tired of my job. why can't i just be happy for once?!!? it's all good with my co-worker from my other job being there, but for some reason i'm just not satisfied. why do i always feel like this????? i have never had a job i've ever loved in my life. why is that? i'm wondering....does anyway feel like this too?

i had a good weekend. i actually had a paid holiday. i was off on martin luther king day. i don't remember when i actually had a paid holdiay like that. it's been a very long time. i didn't get to stay home though. i was too busy with other stuff. i really need to get my life organized soon. too much crap going on right now in my life. i hardly have time to check email or surf anymore like i used to. by the 26th of this month i will not be going into work for my part-time job anymore. they want us to work at home for them, so in the mean time, i'm getting stuff ready to bring some of the equipment home with me from that job. the cool thing about the change is that i actually get to keep the computer i used at that job. yeah...hmmm...i'll take the computer and a couple of other things i can get my hands on.....MUahhhhhHHHHhhmuuuahhhhhAAAHHhhhh!!!!

i'm taking my kitty cat to her appointment tomorrow to get her spayed. i feel so bad for taking her over there, but i know that i have to soon or else i will be hearing her annoying cries from her being in heat if i don't. i've been around cats who were in heat and i defintely don't want to hear it from my cat! nope, i will not let that happen, good, i'm beginning to not feel guilty anymore. i just hate the see her when i go pick her up from the place tomorrow.

anyway....change of subject. why do people have some gawd awful stink ass breath? i'm training this lady at my new job and she's got the stinkiest breath. she's nicely dressed, nice hair-do, nice shoes, and has very good manners, but when it comes time to her speaking....my gosh, that stench. i can't help it. i had to open our door today to try and get some fresh air in the office . i'm hoping that the therapists i work with don't think that it's my co-worker and i stinking up that room. i've got a headache from the smell and just thinking about the smell is making me cringe!

it's me again....seems like a long time since i last blogged for some reason. well, my weekend was interesting. we had brian's sister and her family from kayenta over for the weekend. i swear, it was kind of strange. i was actually having a few drinks with them, actually a few too much! i don't drink that often, but for some reason when brian's family comes into town for the weekend, it sure does become a freaking drinking fest. i tell ya, it was crazy. i'm still feeling the effect of the alcohol, and i've been dragging all day.

the good thing about having brian's family over was the food. they brought pounds of mutton ribs. we were out grilling them things around 9pm saturday night. gawd, the smell of mutton smoke. sheesh, mutton cooking on a grill can really make your clothes stink. i didn't notice the stench until we stepped into fry's to purchase yet another cart full of alcohol. i was trying to avoid walking near people so as to not have them catch a whiff of my awful stench. muuaahhhh!

i found out today that i will have to work at home for my second job. i don't know if i really want to do that. there's so many temptations and distractions when you sit and try and work from home. i've tried it before, but decided that it would be better if i went into the office and worked. i got more things done that way, but i don't have a choice this time. they're going to shut my department down by the 26th of this month and my long time co-workers of 7 years will be no more. i won't get to see them at work like i did for the past 7 years. oh well, at least the only good thing is that i might have the chance to take the computer i use at work home with me.

well, what can i say......just when i thought things were going so smoothly at work......i was told yesterday that i will be adding another duty to my already strenuous work load. it sucks! i will be doing referrals from now on. now i see why they want to send me to training on monday. i was only supposed to take on the referrals when my boss was away from her desk or is at lunch. it just pisses me off thinking about it. my boss' only excuse is that since she took on her new role as the assistant to the clinical director that she has no time to do the referrals. i say this...NO TIME MY ASS! MY BIG, BROWN, ASSSSSSS! i see that boss of a woman walking around chatting and doing whatever every day, and she talks about NO FUCKING TIME! i almost walked out of that place yesterday. i was that close, man, but then i thought about brian and how it would put so much stress on him to support both of us and our mountain of bills, so i just stayed and sulked all fucking day. my co-worker wasn't there yesterday to soothe me, she had to go back to the reservation because one of her husband's 5-month old neice passed away from the flu the other day. such a horrible tragedy....

anyway, it's fucking friday! i finished whining, complaining, or what ever you may call it. this is a pretty good place to do this kind of stuff...

i've recently signed up for an ebay account. i think it's the most wonderful thing on the web! i like to collect things from my childhood and i happened to stumble upon this. it was such an easy purchase. i was hesitant in buying anything online at first, but then i read a little more about the rules of online shopping. i purchased my doll, and boy was i happy when i received that thing in the mail. i got it within two days of my purchase. the box has never been opened and the doll was sold back in 87'. i now have a native american barbie doll and a korean barbie doll. sounds like a mixture of me......

life is the same...nothing really going on. it's just the every day thing of going to bed early and getting up to a long day of work. tomorrow i have to drive to chandler and help the other agency out with the opening of charts. it seems as though they are bombarded with work and they want me to step in and help out. it makes me feel good inside to think that they think highly of me. they are always praising me at the work and hopefully i can see some of their praises going towards my paychecks.

i hope every one is doing well...i lost track of my daily reads. i need to catch up...anyway, happy new year y'all!!!!!