I hope every one had a good christmas like i did. i spent most of my vacation in kayenta and in fort defiance. I stayed in kayenta tuesday - thursday and then on thursday - saturday i spent it in fort defiance with my family. christmas was great! my family decided to open gifts early since we had such a big dinner planned on saturday. i got a lot of cool things, but the gifts i cherish the most is the chocolate and orange bath stuff my dad got for me from the body shop and the monchichi my sister sent me.

on friday night i was working up a sweat in the kitchen, i had so many dishes i had to prepare for my sister's farewell dinner. my dad and i invited all of our family members over to the dinner. it turned out excellent! i haven't seen so many aunts, uncles, and cousins in such a long time. i think the last time we got together like that was at my grandfather's funeral. it's so sad that our family isn't that close enough to have family dinners like that, but this year was different. we managed to get every one to come.

my sister is in okinawa, japan right at this very moment. i bet she has a little culture shock, but i think she will fit right in since she has some korean in her anyway. she can just walk around and act like she is speaking japanese and probably nobody wouldn't even know the difference. yeah, she will fit right in. she got word that she will be on her way to helping the sunami victims. it's so sad about what happened to those people. they say that most of them are children, such a tragedy.

anyway, i was going to post some picture but i'm too lazy to load them on to my computer. maybe, this weekend. happy new year ya'll!!

just a warning to all people who live in the phoenix area. do not go to the midas that is located on 19th avenue and indian school. they're devious people!

my car was overheating last weekend so i take it to midas and they tell me that it is the thermostat. they change my thermostat. i drive the car the whole week, but on friday night my car overheats in rush hour traffic. we pull over and let the car cool down. the next morning we take it back to midas and they tell us that they need to keep my car all day. about 4pm that afternoon we get a phone call from midas and they tell us that we would need to replace some computer in the car and that it would cost us 700 to 800 dollars. they were giving us all this technical gibberish. i really didn't believe anything he was telling me so i tell midas to stop working on my car. the next day i take it to the dealer and they tell me something totally different from what midas told me. they found that the wire to the fan grounded out and i also needed to replace the fan relay. the labor plus parts only costed me 249 bucks. i was so pissed, i sent brian over to midas to try and get my money back from midas for partially working on it the day before. all they gave us was a $50 discount coupon. yeah right, like i'm going to take my car back over there again! anyway, i hate when my car gets sick. i don't like anybody laying their hands on my car unless they really know what the hell they are doing!!!!! anyway, happy holidays!

spooooky.....my dearest friend's dog died. it's kind of freaky thinking about it. the dog died on october 23 (Saturday) and my friend's boyfriend of 15 years died 3 months earlier on July 25 (Saturday). They both died around the same time that evening. I just can't get over the coincidence. my friend cried that whole evening. i knew why she was crying though. it was like a sign....it was as if he wanted his friend.

anyway, i'm officially done with all my christmas shopping. i started in september. i had a long list this year and i wanted to get everyone's gift on time. i tell ya, buying christmas gifts is not cheap. my friend keeps telling me to start shopping at the 99 cent store. i just laugh at her cause she does that for her family every year. she says that they better be happy that they are even gettin anything from her.

my sister is on her way back at this very moment. she just got done training in wichita falls, texas. she's gonna be back for about 3 weeks and then she's off to okanawa, japan for 2 years. i'm so proud of her. i'm damn proud of her! a chick, my sister, is actually an airplane mechanic...oh and she is also certified to fix air conditioners and refrigerators. ain't that cool? any way, the funny thing about it is that she is probably more girlie than i and she is going to be working with aircraft parts. dang, i swear my sister can just put her mind to do just about anything. i'm taking two weeks off from work to spend time with her and the rest of family this month.

it's been a long time.....been very busy and very lazy....all i gotta say is.....IKEA!

today i was looking through my folders and i came upon this photo. doesn't that look tasty? this was taken at brian's sister's house. it was his grandma's birthday. some days i just crave me some mutton.

i got all my packages that i ordered from ebay. i got 3 packages a couple of weeks ago. all of the packages contained little smurf figurines. one package came as far as london. i don't know why i like to collect. it's sort of an addiction i guess. anyway, maybe someday when i get the energy, maybe i'll take pictures of some of the things i collect.

p.s thought i'd share what i'm listening to at the moment.

michael jackson - human nature
faith evans - i love you
john anderson - straight tequila night
ziggy marley - drive
dead milkmen - bitchin camero
brooks and dunn - my maria
bob marley - is this love
the pixies - where is my mind

it's funny. i felt like crap this morning. i had body aches and it felt like i had a slight head cold, but as soon as i come home, i'm miraculously cured! that sucks, i didn't want to use any of my paid time off.

well, this weekend i think we are heading to kayenta. i really don't feel like going. i want to relax and do absolutely nothing. the main reason we are going back is because we have to help his grandma with fire wood. winter is coming soon and someone needs to haul some wood for her.

the above picture was taken near dilcon, az. i hope you all have a good weekend......

this was taken on a sunday evening on our way back to phoenix. this picture was taken near dilcon, arizona.

this is randy and graygo. i caught them lounging on my brother's bed. the little one has big, blue eyes and the big one has an unusually large pink nose. they're so cute!

i can't believe i didn't freeze my ass off this year. i remember last year i was freezing to death while i was waiting in anticipation for the parade. a lot of people were selling a lot of neat stuff as they walked along the parade route. so many things to see, so much money to spend!

i got back into phoenix really late on sunday. i felt sick to my stomach. i ate too much roast corn. we bought 15 roast corn, 18 fresh corn, 4 weird looking star fish shaped squash, a water melon, and honey dew. i was looking for some big, fat squash. where did they all go? i think i missed out. i didn't see any in sight except the pewny italian squash.

on saturday i sat and watched the parade. it was hot and it seemed like there was a zillion brown people every where. it's kind of shocking to see. you don't see that much brown skin people in a crowd, except at the bar. just kidding! i forgot the name of those bars that the natives hang out at...dang it's been a long time....let me see...good time charlies, rodeo nites (did that name change again?), hmmmm......snaps? haha! i was once a frequent visitor of those places. i haven't been into any of them in a very, very long time though. anyway, it was nice though. after the parade we went to the rodeo. i thought i was gonna snag me one of them cars they were giving away. but i didn't. some lady from crownpoint had that special key. she won. that lucky bastard! i can't believe i actually stayed the whole 3 hours, my ass got torchered to death from the hard seating.

after the rodeo we left the fair. it was too dusty and i could feel the dirt caking up in my ears. i don't like dust. my eyes can't handle dirt. it irritates it and i had to get away from the fair grounds. after we left the rodeo we decided to make our way in to gallup, but before we could even get into gallup we saw that there was like a 2 mile back up of vehicles. at first we thought it was an accident, but after closer inspection we saw that it was a road block. they had the road block for both directions of traffic. people were turning around to avoid the road block. i was surprised that the cops weren't chasing them. anyway, as we got closer the road block you could smell beer. it was every where. it smelled like a bar! a lot of drunks were getting their vehicles towed. it was kind of sad to see. so many vehicles parked on the side of the road waiting for a tow truck. it was a sight to see. it probably took us 20 minutes of waiting before we could pass the road block and after that we were zooming to gallup.

i really enjoyed myself this weekend. i will hopefully be doing the same again next month!

somebody needs take ebay off of my computer, at least take access away from me. i've been going crazy bidding on stuff. i have two packages being delievered to me from london and new york i've been buying smurf figurines all weekend. that is how i spent my labor day weekend, sitting in front of the computer.

this weekend is labor day weekend. i don't have any thing planned this weekend. i'll probably catch up on some much needed sleep. brian and i were thinking about taking a drive to payson, but i'm not sure if i want to spend my weekend driving around. i feel like just vegetating in my living room.

nothing much has been happening in my neck of the woods. i just come home from work, eat dinner, watch tv, and then go to bed at night and start all over again the next day. it's like i've turned into an old fart in a little over a year. i think it started ever since i started working at my current job. i'm not motivated to do anything anymore. the only time i leave my apartment is on the weekends. that's when i hit the yard sales and flea markets. i've been doing this for a little over a year now and i found some wonderful things at a bargain of a price! i like to collect very old things. a lot of the stuff that i collect are old bottles, soda bottles and toys from back in the day. i don't know why i go crazy over stuff like this, but all i gotta say is that it makes me happy and it also gives me something to do. a month ago i bought a record player. i think it's the coolest thing next to my dolls of the world korean barbie. my record player is the best. i can listen to some old ass tunes in my raggy clothes, bushy hair, with not a care in the world. these days my search is for records. last weekend i bought michael jackson 'thriller' for only a buck. i got a few records in my collection, but i'm looking to add more to my collection.

anyway, next weekend we're going to the navajo nation fair. my main purpose is to hit the flea market and watch the annual parade. the carnies doesn't thrill me anymore, but when i was in school, i walked around the carnies like a bad ass, thinking i was soooooo cool, but i guess times change and we grow older, wiser and well i guess just boring! haha. i'm kidding, but yeah, it was cool back in the days, being with friends, eating curly fries, and riding the rides.

my cox high speed internet sucks! the other day i supposedly posted something, but it just magically disappeared. i hate cox. i've called tech service several times to ask them why my internet keeps going down. they always ask me if i have all my cables plugged in. it's the same old routine. i'm tired of calling over there. i wonder if i'm the only one experiencing this problem? i don't know, it might be the outside line that runs into my apartment. i'm just gettting sick of this bullshit.

i see that we are getting another monsoon storm this evening. i hope it floods the shit out of this place. i'm tired of it being hot all the time and why the hell does it always seem to freaking storm in the evenings instead of during the day? i remember when we used to have some scary monsoon storms. i want them back! i used to hate it back then though. i didn't have a vehicle in my early years and i had to ride the city bus. that sucked. to be on a city bus wet as dog, and then to have to smell peoples smelly ass body odor. anyway, hopefully this posts because i'm not going to type this again. good nite y'all.

gosh, i really don't know what to say. a lot of bad, bad, things have happened these past months. because of this i haven't blogged in a while. it seems like if i mention any part of my life on this blog, shit only gets worse. fuck it, we only live once.

last month a dear friend and coworker of mine lost the love of her life. its so sad to even think or write about it. my coworker has been with her boyfriend for 15 long years. i pray for her and her two boys a lot. she tells me that it's hard to be home in the evenings. I just wish there were some comforting words that i could tell her to ease her pain, but i know that only time will heal. i know right now nothing i say will make her feel better. i cannot imagine what she is going through. i have never lost any one that close to me.

it was on a sunday morning that my friend called me. it was around 7:00 am. i was awake, but still rolling around in my bed when i heard my phone ring. i answered the phone and heard my friend on the other line. the first words she said was that she had some bad news. for a second i thought of what could be such bad news so early on a sunday morning, but nothing came to my mind and i sat and listened to what she had to say. i could tell that she had been crying earlier by the tone of her voice, so i knew it was bad. it took her about a minute to tell me what was going on. she told me that they couldn't find her boyfriend. i was confused at first and was wondering what she was talking about and then she told me that on saturday he went to the salt river. that's when it hit me. on saturday her boyfriend had asked brian if he wanted to go tubing, but brian declined the offer because we were planning on going to see some movies that day. i think my mind was running a million miles minute after that. she went on to say that she went to go pick him up at the time they were supposed to meet that day, but she said that they kept waiting for him and he never showed up. she said that it begain to get dark and finally they had no choice and went to the police. the police told her that there were a lot of witnesses. they saw her boyfriend getting off of his raft and swimming, but then they noticed that he looked like he was struggling and they asked him if he needed help, but her boyfriend didn't say anything. they said that it looked like he was swimming towards a diving rock, but for some reason he was having trouble. i guess he just never came back up. they formed a human chain across the river to search, but they didn't find him.

gawd, sometimes i wonder why god takes people so early in their lives. i know that he has a purpose, but sometimes it's just hard to understand, even for me. my friend's boyfriend threw scrumptious barbeques. he was the barbeque king! he was a kind, generous, and giving person. he never thought about himself. he always took his time to help others out before him and it's just so sad to see him go so soon. brian and i are still in shock. i wonder sometimes, what if brian would have gone with him that day. would he have saved him from drowning or would he have drowned himself? we will never know. i remember my dad was speaking to my friend in navajo. he told her "please don't blame god".

San Antonio

life seems to be back to normal again, so far. i better not jinx my self. the truck is fixed. it took about 7 days to get it back from the place that was fixing it. i got a letter in the mail yesterday stating all the charges that guy has against him. i can request restitution if i want and i have already. i hope that guy has learned his lesson. i looked his name up in the arizona courts and he has a bunch of charges already on him. anyway, the above picture is from the trip to texas. this picture was taken in harker heights texas. it's a little town next to killeen, texas. check out how green it is out there! i wish this place was like this.

just when i thought things were starting to look good, i run into another streak of bad luck. last thursday some fucking drunk ran into our truck. what is so fucking retarded is that the truck was parked in a parking lot and the bastard ran into it. yes, the fucking bastard was DRUNK and you know what is so fucking great???!!!??!!!! the drunk guy had to be a navajo with no fucking insurance!!!!!! there is over a million people living in phoenix and a damn fucking drunk navajo had to run into me. why couldn't it be a rich white person with some insurance????!!!! 

My trip to texas was amazing! it rained just about the whole time we were there. it was damn humid too. you can walk outside and get sticky in a second. what was so amazing about my trip was that i got to see my mother and witness a memorable moment....watching my sister graduate from basic training. what is so shocking is that she was the kind of person that had the 'i don't give a shit attitude' and was such a messy and lazy person. those six weeks she's been there has really changed her. meeting my mom for the first time again was a terrifying experience. i had butterflies in my stomach the whole time. i got to spend 3 whole days with her. we are planning on visiting her in another six months. this picture was taken at the lackland air force base. 

graduation day for my sister! 

my journey to san antonio is nearing. Tomorrow i work until 3:30 pm. I'm planning on leaving to my dad's house in ft. Defiance after work tomorrow. Wednesday is our day of travel. I was checking how long it would take to get to our destination. a whopping 14-17 hrs. ugghhh, i think my ass will be numb by the time we get to san antonio. anyway, i got brian to go with me and well, we are going to see my mum. i haven't seen her in over 16 years! it sure is gonna be something..... i'm so ready to go, but at the same time i have a lot of anxiety. i haven't seen my mum in so long and well, i don't know what to expect. i'll just cross my fingers and hope that she doesn't think i'm still that 5 year old little girl that left her so many years ago. actually, we didn't leave her, she left us, but anyway, that's the past and i've totally forgiven her. so, i guess wish me luck! MY SISTER IS GRADUATING FROM BASIC TRAINING FROM THE AIR FORCE! MY SISTER JUST RECEIVED HER AIRMAN'S COIN FROM SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETING WARRIOR WEEK!!! YIPEE!!!

man, this is what she does all day. don't you wish you were a kitty cat? 

next month i'm driving to san antonio, texas. it is going to be a very long drive. i'm sort of dreading it though. i'm going out there to see my sister graduate from the air force, that's if she is graduating, but so far so good. i better shutup, i might jinx her.

this month is gonna be a long month..... there's so many graduations and receptions we have to go to by the end of this month. i dread it so much. it's the drive that i dislike the most. the drive from phoenix to flagstaff totally sucks. there's nothing to look at, and it's fucking hot. yuck! yuck!

anyway, life for me sucks right now. i'm just not happy with the way things are going. i had so many plans and i just have to set them back again because of financial reasons. i know i will get over this hump soon, but knowing me, i'm the type of person that can't wait for things. i guess i will just have to sit back and just go with the flow for now.

yeah, i'll be popping back in every once in a while......it's so weird. i have all this free time now and i just don't feel like getting on the computer any more. maybe i should go back to going to school and working a full time job or working a full time job and a part time job again. hmmm...naw, i don't think so. that was too much for me and now i think i'm paying the price for it now. i've grown so damn lazy. i only work one full time job now. i said fuck it to the second one. i don't want to pay taxes again next year. i'd rather be broke and starving to death than have another bill. i hate bills. i guess that is just life though. we all have bills. life isn't easy, nothing is given to us for free, we all have to earn what we get.

my boss is gonna take leave for a couple of weeks. her husband is dying. he has terminal cancer. i guess respite has been visiting her house for the past couple of weeks. i sure do hope she is coping with the loss of her husband well. when she is at work she is her cheerful self though. it is kind of odd at times. it's like it doesn't seem to phase her. i think she just has gotten used to the idea of her husband passing.

it's getting pretty hot here in phoenix. today it got up to 103. ughhh....and the air conditioner in my car doesn't work right. i tried to get it fixed at bill luke, but those bastards wanted to charge me 700 dollars to take the damn dash board apart. i told that lady if she was fucking kidding me. she wasn't. i almost made a scene there that day. you see, my air conditioning works it's just that the knob isn't changing the settings. the air is only blowing towards my windshield. they told me that something might be blocking the air ways and that if they went in and found that something was blocking the airways that they would have to charge me 700 dollars and if they find that it was just one of their parts that was broken then it would be covered under warranty. i mean, if i gave them the go ahead to work on my car how in world would i know that they are telling me the truth? so then i said the hell with it and told them to give me back my car. that was way too much for me to pay out of pocket. they must think i'm fucking rich or something, bastards! anyway, someday, i'll get it fixed, but not right now, not in the situation i'm in right now. hell no.

dang, it's been a long time since i've wrote in this thing......i'm still here though, it's either at work or home. i think i'm getting sick. i have a sore throat and my body is aching.

aww shit, i hate when tax season comes! 2003 really got the best of me and now i have to suffer with having to back a shit load of money to uncle sam. that really blows. i had a lot of plans. i'm finally paying off my car next month and i was thinking about saving the extra money to try and put a down payment on a house. it really sucks to think that i had all these ideas/plans in my head and then to have it all come crashing down. i think this will probably set me back almost a year again. oh well, i've finally got used to the idea. it just makes me depressed sometimes just thinking about it.

i went back to fort defiance this past weekend to see my sister. i threw a big party for her. she enlisted in the air force. she left this past tuesday. she is in san antonio, texas at the moment. they are probably busting her ass by now. poor thing, i don't think she was really ready to go. she was living in albuquerque. she moved all her stuff back to my dad's house about 2 weeks ago. that girl did every thing at the last minute. she's going to be in san antonio for 8 weeks and then after that she will be in wichita falls, texas. i wonder if she is regretting it? i'm hoping she gets to call my dad or i this weekend. it sure would be great to hear from her. i've been worrying about her ever since she left.

today was a good day. i asked for a raise and i got one. i guess sometimes it doesn't hurt to ask. my co-worker and i started almost at the same time. she started about 3 1/2 months after me. we both got a raise. i think they desperately want us to stay. they have had several people leave from my position and i've been there the longest so far. i've been there a little over six months and so far i've got two raises. the pay is alright, though i used to make more, but i know that when you change into a whole new field of work that you will most likely have to start all over again. i'm up for it though. this place actually has good benefits, bonuses, and VACATION. i haven't had vacation in a long time. i think it's been 7 years. so far, i've been with this company for almost 7 months. my, my, my, how time can just fly by.....and just think i was going to school part time and working full time around this time last year.

i still work at home too. i think i make more working from home than the full time job i have during the day. i can work about 3-4 hours at night after i come home from my full time job and make at least 120 bucks. i'm so glad for the 2nd job though. i think i got too spoiled when i used to work full time at the other job. the 2nd job is play money for me and it lets me spend when i want to spend. you know, sometimes when i'm so stressed out or feel so overwhelmed i just go to the local flea market or even the mall and just spend. i know it's bad, but it really makes me feel good. i could be paying off my credit cards, but i think sometimes a person should just go all out and treat themselves with something sometimes.

what a gawd awful day. about 30 minutes before i'm supposed to go home from work all hell breaks loose. i got parents in the waiting area waiting to be seen by the doctor for a pyschiatric evaluation. i goofed, i admit it. the child and his parents were waiting for the doctor for nothing. the kid hasn't even been enrolled with our agency. i don't know what happened. there was some kind of mix up and i will definitely take the blame.

another thing happened today too. i just totally blew my lid. i got mad at a boss lady that is from a different department. i know i had reason to get mad at her. i was making several copies at the copy machine. the copier was spitting out sorted pages that were 40 something pages each. i was making 40 copies of 40 something pages and this bitch decides to stop the copier to make 7 copies. i cannot believe she had the nerve to do that. all i say is that she so fucking disrespectful. she could of asked me if she could make copies of what ever she was copying but she didn't. i certainly don't take shit from any one any more. i realize now that if you don't say any thing that things will never change.

i am a little disgusted.......i don't know about y'all, but i really despise unexpected visitors. i really hate when people show up at your door without giving a call ahead of time to let you know that they are coming, especially if they are out of town visitors.

yes, i'm talking about brian's sister and her family. i mean, they are really cool and nice, but i just hate the fact that they come down to phoenix unannounced and expecting a hand out. i am not lieing, they really do expect a hand out. they come down with a almost broken car, no money, and a baby! why on earth do you want to bring down a baby when you know that the car can barely make it down to phoenix. i just got news a little while ago that they will be staying for a week. argghh..i feel like pulling my hair out. i don't feel like supporting people that like to sponge off of other people. i really don't. i'm sorry, i may sound mean, but this is not the first time this has happened. sooner or later i'll finally have the guts to say something, but for now i'm just a little too chicken. all i can do for now is bitch about it in this blog.

anyway, on a happier note. yay, tomorrow is friday!

i posted the other day. i actually had something worth talking about, but lost every thing. i hate when that happens. i knew in the back of mind, i was thinking i should copy it first before i post so if for some reason it didn't post i could always paste it into a new screen.

nothing new happening in my life. my life is so monotonous. it's the same routine every day. i wake up, take a shower, fight traffic to work, work my ass off, take my lunch driving around downtown trying to look for a good place to eat lunch, go back to work, work my ass off again until the day is done, go home, change clothes, sit in front of the computer at home so i can work some more, eat dinner in front of the computer, glance at the tv while working in front of the computer, finish work around 9 or 10 pm, watch the evening news, relax a little, and then get ready for bed to start a whole new day again. i swear, this is what i do every day of the week. every once in a while though, i do take a break and eat at some fancy restaraunt to soothe my cravings, relax, and just take a load off. a nice big cup of margarita and dinner is really good after a long days work.

it's getting pretty hot here in phoenix. i think we hit the high 90s today. i hate it. our air conditioner in the office isn't really effective in cooling us down so we have to end up bringing in a fan. my coworker and i work in a small compact office with a bunch of medical files. yay, lots of shit green medical charts basically surround our desks. i hate them charts. they fuck up my nails and give me some painful hang nails. fucking charts. if i could, i would burn them...

i wanted to go to target this evening ,but work took me longer than i thought tonight. i wanted to get the mona lisa smile dvd. i could go to walmart and pick me up a copy, but i don't want to go to walmart. that place is an animal house. i hate going to the one that is near my apartment. you get hounded by people who try to sell you tamales. oh well, i can wait until this weekend to pick me up a copy. what i really need to do is sit down for the rest of the evening and relax. good night y'all.

ok, i posted, but lost every thing...i'll try again another day.

man.....today was such a lazy freaking day. i swear, i downed two cups of coffee, 4 pieces of chocolate, and two dr. peppers. it didn't help at all. i drank all that crap thinking that i would get a burst of energy. i felt like if i layed down on the floor i would probably fall asleep. i was that close to laying my head down onto my desk today, but i was too afraid i was gonna fall asleep. i think it's the sudden change of the weather today. today, was unusually warm. i didn't like it one bit. i hate when it gets too warm. it's beginning to be that time again. i dread the summer. i hate sweating. it makes my forehead break out. not into big pimples, but those litte annoying ones....shit, here comes the summer and all that dreadful heat. i remember one year when i first moved to phoenix we actually cracked an egg on the asphalt and it actually started to slowly cook. that's how hot it can freaking get around here during the summer time.

i worked a bit tonight. i didn't get to work as much as i wanted to, but i shouldn't complain. i'm tired as it is, and i shouldn't be pushing it. tomorrow will only be half through the week. i'm really surprised that tomorrow is already wednesday though. that reminds me...i need to start doing my taxes. i know i owe a shit load of money. i haven't received my 1099 in the mail. the dumb asses at the other job sent it to my old address. that totally blows...i've never, ever, received anything back on taxes, EVER!

the state play offs is coming into town. my dad is paying me a visit this weekend. he wants to watch the 1a and 2a games. then he says he's going to leave sunday back to the rez and be back thursday to watch the 3a and 4a games. february is my favorite month of the year. this is the month my dad always comes to visit me. i can't wait until he comes. i just need to clean a bit and hide a couple of things in the apartment because he just doesn't need to see some of things i have....ha!

anyway, work is still the same. i've been working at home for the other job. it's great! i'm really beginning to like working at home. i've been making a killing too, so i can't complain. if they are willing to pay out, then i'm all for it, shit.

days are going by too fast for me. i've been tooooooo busy....tooo many things going on, it's just too bad that i don't have time to blog about it anymore.

yep, it's been a long time...yes, i know, and there really hasn't been much going on in my life either. i just don't feel like looking at a computer screen that much anymore, especially after a long days work. maybe, someday i'll feel up to it again.

i heard today that my other job wants us back in the office again. i don't understand why they can't make up their fucking minds. i mean, all along we've been fighting to stay in the office. i guess they must have realized that working from home isn't going to work out. i mean, we did the majority of the work in the office. how did they think that we were going to do it at home? i just don't understand people. we've whined and cried to them that it wasn't going to work and now they finally realized that it wasn't. this is nuts......

awww....i need to calm my nerves...i'm gonna beg for some sex.....

arghhh....i'm in a bit of a dilemma, so much shit has been happening to me and my family. i can't really talk about it now because i've got to let things settle before i blow my lid.

i also brought back the computer from work. i did a crazy thing though. i formated it, and well, there's some things i just can't get working again. i need to search for a certain driver for the video card, but then again, i'm thinking that the windows that i use isn't compatible with the video card. dang, shit i get myself into! anyway, my screen resolution is 640x480 right now and i feel like a blind bastard at the moment because everything is so freaking huge.

i'm leaving for the rez in a couple of hours. i haven't been to work in the past two days. i need this little vacation. i also need to kick someone's ass when i get to the rez. she better watch out cause the bitch is on her way...

ADD, ADHD, obcessive compulsive disorder, Zyprexa, Straterra......blah, blah blah, my brain is in overload mode. i think i'm already tired of my job. why can't i just be happy for once?!!? it's all good with my co-worker from my other job being there, but for some reason i'm just not satisfied. why do i always feel like this????? i have never had a job i've ever loved in my life. why is that? i'm wondering....does anyway feel like this too?

i had a good weekend. i actually had a paid holiday. i was off on martin luther king day. i don't remember when i actually had a paid holdiay like that. it's been a very long time. i didn't get to stay home though. i was too busy with other stuff. i really need to get my life organized soon. too much crap going on right now in my life. i hardly have time to check email or surf anymore like i used to. by the 26th of this month i will not be going into work for my part-time job anymore. they want us to work at home for them, so in the mean time, i'm getting stuff ready to bring some of the equipment home with me from that job. the cool thing about the change is that i actually get to keep the computer i used at that job. yeah...hmmm...i'll take the computer and a couple of other things i can get my hands on.....MUahhhhhHHHHhhmuuuahhhhhAAAHHhhhh!!!!

i'm taking my kitty cat to her appointment tomorrow to get her spayed. i feel so bad for taking her over there, but i know that i have to soon or else i will be hearing her annoying cries from her being in heat if i don't. i've been around cats who were in heat and i defintely don't want to hear it from my cat! nope, i will not let that happen, good, i'm beginning to not feel guilty anymore. i just hate the see her when i go pick her up from the place tomorrow.

anyway....change of subject. why do people have some gawd awful stink ass breath? i'm training this lady at my new job and she's got the stinkiest breath. she's nicely dressed, nice hair-do, nice shoes, and has very good manners, but when it comes time to her speaking....my gosh, that stench. i can't help it. i had to open our door today to try and get some fresh air in the office . i'm hoping that the therapists i work with don't think that it's my co-worker and i stinking up that room. i've got a headache from the smell and just thinking about the smell is making me cringe!

it's me again....seems like a long time since i last blogged for some reason. well, my weekend was interesting. we had brian's sister and her family from kayenta over for the weekend. i swear, it was kind of strange. i was actually having a few drinks with them, actually a few too much! i don't drink that often, but for some reason when brian's family comes into town for the weekend, it sure does become a freaking drinking fest. i tell ya, it was crazy. i'm still feeling the effect of the alcohol, and i've been dragging all day.

the good thing about having brian's family over was the food. they brought pounds of mutton ribs. we were out grilling them things around 9pm saturday night. gawd, the smell of mutton smoke. sheesh, mutton cooking on a grill can really make your clothes stink. i didn't notice the stench until we stepped into fry's to purchase yet another cart full of alcohol. i was trying to avoid walking near people so as to not have them catch a whiff of my awful stench. muuaahhhh!

i found out today that i will have to work at home for my second job. i don't know if i really want to do that. there's so many temptations and distractions when you sit and try and work from home. i've tried it before, but decided that it would be better if i went into the office and worked. i got more things done that way, but i don't have a choice this time. they're going to shut my department down by the 26th of this month and my long time co-workers of 7 years will be no more. i won't get to see them at work like i did for the past 7 years. oh well, at least the only good thing is that i might have the chance to take the computer i use at work home with me.

well, what can i say......just when i thought things were going so smoothly at work......i was told yesterday that i will be adding another duty to my already strenuous work load. it sucks! i will be doing referrals from now on. now i see why they want to send me to training on monday. i was only supposed to take on the referrals when my boss was away from her desk or is at lunch. it just pisses me off thinking about it. my boss' only excuse is that since she took on her new role as the assistant to the clinical director that she has no time to do the referrals. i say this...NO TIME MY ASS! MY BIG, BROWN, ASSSSSSS! i see that boss of a woman walking around chatting and doing whatever every day, and she talks about NO FUCKING TIME! i almost walked out of that place yesterday. i was that close, man, but then i thought about brian and how it would put so much stress on him to support both of us and our mountain of bills, so i just stayed and sulked all fucking day. my co-worker wasn't there yesterday to soothe me, she had to go back to the reservation because one of her husband's 5-month old neice passed away from the flu the other day. such a horrible tragedy....

anyway, it's fucking friday! i finished whining, complaining, or what ever you may call it. this is a pretty good place to do this kind of stuff...

i've recently signed up for an ebay account. i think it's the most wonderful thing on the web! i like to collect things from my childhood and i happened to stumble upon this. it was such an easy purchase. i was hesitant in buying anything online at first, but then i read a little more about the rules of online shopping. i purchased my doll, and boy was i happy when i received that thing in the mail. i got it within two days of my purchase. the box has never been opened and the doll was sold back in 87'. i now have a native american barbie doll and a korean barbie doll. sounds like a mixture of me......

life is the same...nothing really going on. it's just the every day thing of going to bed early and getting up to a long day of work. tomorrow i have to drive to chandler and help the other agency out with the opening of charts. it seems as though they are bombarded with work and they want me to step in and help out. it makes me feel good inside to think that they think highly of me. they are always praising me at the work and hopefully i can see some of their praises going towards my paychecks.

i hope every one is doing well...i lost track of my daily reads. i need to catch up...anyway, happy new year y'all!!!!!