what a wonderful day. today is brian's birthday, i had an opportunity to come into work early and am going to leave early, and best of all it's payday. friday is a good day, as the saying goes...thank goodness it's friday! i'm not going to work on saturday either. tomorrow, i am planning to celebrate brian's birthday. i told brian i would make some navajo tacos for him and probably his family. he is always begging for me to make it and tomorrow he is going to get his wish. i still need to get his cake today. i'm thinking of getting it at baskin robbins. i know he likes ice cream so i'm going to get him an ice cream cake. hopefully, it doesn't melt on me on the way home, that will suck. my cousin is having her son's birthday party tomorrow also. she invited me, but since we are throwing parties on the same day and around the same time i don't think i will celebrate her son's birthday party with her. besides, i dont' think i want to see her bastard boyfriend. i still can't believe her. it makes me sick to my stomach to think that she is even thinking of marrying that asshole. he put her through a lot of hell. i don't understand her. i just know if i ever see him i will surely say some smack to him. he doesn't deserve my cousin, but i don't think my cousin knows any better. truthfully, i think it's just the way she was raised.

i don't have to go to class tomorrow. yay! i'm so happy. that means i can come into work tomorrow during the morning hours. i always have a good feeling when i come into work in the morning. we finally finished that crap work that the boss wanted. he is so demanding. i also found out that he is taking a vacation. it must be nice. i haven't taken a vacation in a long time. my last vacation was spent in anaheim. we drove there almost 3 years ago. i can still remember it. emily (a friend) and i did this spur of the moment thing. we ended up driving all the way to anaheim to have some fun. that same night we ended up in tijuana. i know, it's crazy, but i had the time of my life. that was the first time i set foot into mexico. it was actually scary walking to our destination. when you first step into mexico they have all these men standing in the front actually begging you to come and catch a ride with them (taxi) and not only that these men were whistling and staring us down. i suggest that any ladies who decide to go to tijuana, don't go by yourselves. take some men with you because on the the way you will find that theres many strange people walking around, including little children. that was really sad to see. little kids were sleeping on the side of buildings or selling chicklets (gum). another thing that i remember about tijuana were those abandoned buildings. it was eerie walking through it. it looked like a ghost town, especially since we were walking through there around 11pm at night. that was an experience. i will never forget it. anyway, yesterday one of brian's friends brought over some shrimp seviche. my goodness, its so delicious. we actually pay his friend's girlfriend to make some for us. seviche can be addicting. i eat mine with tortilla chips.

american idol was hhhiiiilllllarious! i could not stop laughing. the funniest part was when the guy with the bowl shaped hair cut tried to sing a madonna song. i was done. my stomach got sore from laughing so hard. i can't wait to watch the next one. today is very hectic here at work. we got this project in and supposedly we weren't even supposed to touch it, but plans changed. we now have to finish this crap by monday. i am not going to work on saturday. how unfortunate for my boss. NOT! I will not feel sorry or guilty when i don't come in on saturday. saturday is brian's planned birthday party and i wouldn't miss it in the world. i made plans already. he just has to accept it. lately, i feel like such a slave. actually, both my coworkers and i work our asses off just to satisfy his grinchy attitude. he is such an asshole. we are due for our yearly raise. we asked about it at the end of january. did he get back to us about it? no, absolutely not! basically, i don't think we should be asking for it. he should automatically be giving us a raise every year, even if it means that it's only a quarter. it's just the thought that counts. i'm going home tonight and brian said he was going to take me out to dinner. he suggests denny's. i don't really care where we eat. i know i will be hungry by the time 8 o clock rolls around.

another day, another dollar. i'm still here at work. i have about an hour left before i leave from here. i can't wait to get home tonight so i can watch american idol. it's really hilarious when you actually can get the time to watch the show. i called brian a little while ago. i was talking to him on the phone and i heard some one in the back ground. i asked him who it was and he hesitated for a bit. i guess he didn't want to tell me who it was. i asked him again and he finally blurted out that it was lee. lee lives downstairs with his mother. i absolutely do not like that guy. there is a term that describes him....hmmmm.....let's say GHETTO. brian says they are church going folks. i say, NOT! yeah, they go to church but, the other day as i was sitting outside on the balcony i over heard her coversation on the phone while she was talking to a friend. she was talking about her man being in jail. then i guess her friend had asked her about what she does to satisfy her sexual needs and her response was that she doesn't, "fuck around on her man" and that she feels that she is "tight" again. i almost burst out laughing. i was in shock! i absolutely thought they were really nice people until i heard her say that. after that i just view them differently. i mean, this lady is like 45 years old and her son is like 26. there is something wrong here. on martin luther king day they threw a big party. the mom, a 45 year old lady, was outside dancing with one of her son's friends. they were not just dancing. they were doing the "nasty" dance. basically, i don't want that boy in my house. period! anyway, on that note, since i'm taking medical terminlogy classes right now i learned a new word. it's weird how a word can sound so freaky and complicated, but the meaning will be so simple. for example, the word that i have stuck in my head now, and probably for the rest of my life is "rhinorrhea". medical terminology basically consists of prefixes, suffixes, and root words. so when you break it down......-rrhea means flow, runny and rhino means nose. so when reading or breaking down medical terms you will always break it down from the suffix, root word, and then the prefix. basically, rhinorrhea is a runny nose.

today was my first day in my medical terminology class. gawd, there are so many unfamiliar words. i read the first chapter and there were a bunch of terms crammed into one chapter. i still have 16 more chapters to go to finish the book. i wonder if i will remember any of them. i should, i know i have to, especially since i want to be a certified medical coding specialist. i just realized that that i have 5 more months left to graduate. it sure is flying by in a flash. it still feels like i just started. here are my classes for the next 5 months. these are the most important too:

-medical terminlogy I
-medical terminlogy II
-Anatomy and Physiology I
-Anatomy and Physiology II
-Anatomy and Physiology III
-CPT-4 Coding I
-CPT-4 Coding II
-ICD-9 CM Coding I
-ICD-9 CM Coding II

i should graduate on july 7, 2003. that is 12 days before my birthday. this should be a nice birthday present. my grade point average right now is still a 4.0. i am hoping to graduate with it. wish me luck!

awww, today is friday. i can finally ease my mind. i don't really know what we are going to do when i get home from work. maybe brian and i should get something to eat for dinner instead of cooking tonight. i know we would be too tired to mess with the dishes, even if it means just rinsing them off and tossing them into the dishwasher. lol. i think it is still a lot of work. i found out today that i have to work tomorrow. i don't think it should be that bad. we got a new project in and hopefully it isn't too confusing. if it is, i know i will have a short stay at work tomorrow. usually i will get frustrated, disgusted, and then get mad, dealing with it the next day is better than trying to figure it out during your frustration. tomorrow i'm also planning on seeing that movie 'just married' i don't remember if that is the correct title but i know that brittany murphy is starring in it. you know, the other day i started to log onto my yahoo messsenger and to my surprise most of my chat friends were still there. i used to chat on messenger 24/7 a few years back. it actually help me get over the hard times in my past relationship. it basically help me forget about reality for a moment in my life. i met a lot of good chat friends and to this day i still correspond with some them. it's neat how you can find friends all over the world with just messenger.

gawd, i am so disgusted. actually more dissappointed in my cousin. see, about 7 months ago both my cousin and I decided to start school together. the purpose was to get into a new career and, of course, make more money. so we signed up for classes and we were set. i am still in school, but my cousin on the other hand decided to drop out. her excuse is that she doesn't have a baby sitter. what kind of freaking excuse is that? I don't think that is a sensible excuse at all. that is just plain stupid! I don't understand her sometimes. I think this sudden change in decision is probably due to her boy friend, or should i say soon to be husband. a couple of weeks ago she blurted out that she was engaged and that she is going to get married in february sometimes. i actually begged her to reconsider. there are a number of reasons why i begged her. one, the guy cheated on her. it wasn't just once, it was several times. on many different occassions, including the time when she was pregnant. second, he is an alcholic. and third he put her through a lot of hell. my cousin has been with this guy on and off for a total of 9 years now. i'm just so dissappointed! i know it is none of my business, but because she told me all the details of their horrible relationship i feel like i just have to do something. it sucks.

each day i get up and pray to god that he watch over brian and I during these trying times. i know he is listening to me. the lord works in mysterious ways. hopefully, he will make things better soon. i am drained, totally drained. this school and work thing is too much. i don't know how i manage sometimes. i keep telling myself things will get better and in the end it will be worth my while. you know, now that i am typing this, i can finally see that i dedicated myself to doing this and i don't think i have ever given up on any thing that i strived to do. i can do this. i know i can. then there is brian, i love him with all my heart. he is the love of my life and i can honestly say that no one can ever replace him. he's been there for me since the first day i met him. when i ran out of work for about a month or two he told me not to worry and that things will be alright. he is very good at comforting me and easing my mind. sheez, i remember back in the days when i was with my ex-boyfriend i would cry each and every night and i would pray to god and wonder why i put my self through such things. i would ask god why was there not a good man by my side, someone who would love and treat me the way i should be treated. someone who would love me for me. then out of the blue brian comes into my life. he was what i've always looked for in a man. my prayers were answered. i think i actually fell in love with him the moment i layed my eyes on him. he is my motivation, inspiration, and my best friend. the other day as we drove to the grocery store he looked at me and said, 'i think you are my destiny'. i melted. just those little words can touch a person. i love him for being as sweet as he is. i miss him so much because there is hardly a time i spend with him, since school and work is always in my busy schedule. for now, brian is still unemployed. he is temporarily working under the table for an old employer of his. that and his unemployment checks help us each month to pay for our massive bills that we accumulated when we were living in the fast lane. the job market definitely does not look good either. on sunday we picked up the arizona republic to search the want ads. i couldn't believe it. the want ads were only 3 pages. i was so sad to see that. we have basically searched all over phoenix to look for jobs. it really doesn't look good. they keep telling brian that the cardinal's stadium is on it's way, but we still have not got a call from his job that temporarily layed him off. they said it's only temporary, but it seems as if we have waited an eternity. i hope and pray for that day to come when his job finally calls him back to work.........

arrrrghhh! i am sooooo sick! i got sick on saturday. i have body aches and the sniffles. i didn't do a darn thing yesterday, but lay in bed and watch tv all day. it was a good day to stay in too. it was raining and thundering mostly all day. i didn't go to school or work yesterday. i wished i would have because when i stepped into class today i was piled with work from yesterday. i had to stay in class longer than usual just to finish up work i had missed. then today when i went into work i find out that there was work for only a couple of hours. i finished it in about 2 hrs. i am here at home now and my cat is being a little brat. she is running around like crazy and meowing. she's playing with one of my hair ties and i think she is running around meowing trying to look for the darn thing. she can be so human sometimes. the other day i caught here sitting on the toilet. she looked like she was doing her business......

today american idol is going to show. i saw previews of it for the past two weeks and it looks very interesting. i didn't watch any of the first american idol shows. i'm taking an interest in all these reality shows that they are coming out with. some of them are interesting and some of them are just BLAH! one show that i think is blah, is fear factor. last night i saw little clips of it. they showed them munching on duck eggs, pig liver drink, and silk worm cereal. that is totally disgusting. i felt like vomiting for them.

anyway, since i got out of work early today brian and I are planning on going to red lobster to have dinner today. my favorite, the ultimate feast. i can never get tired of eating that. my second choice would be the king crab legs. mmmmMMmmmm....i love crab legs. i can just taste it...

today the instructor at school let us out early. i got to work around 10am. i have about 30 minutes left before i leave from work. i'm so glad to be home early today. hopefully, i get to relax the rest of the evening. i also don't have to go to school tomorrow. our instructor declared tomorrow as 'library day', we each got a handout with some instructions to answer the questions he provided, i doubt that we even have to visit a library.

here at work i had to do tons of back end work. theres a lot of mistakes and unfortunately i couldn't fix them all. i searched through over 14,000 records and almost every one of the records that i clicked on had an obvious mistake. it sucks that we have to deliver work to clients like that. i have been quality checking work for some years now, and i just cannot stand mistakes in work that we do. i probably would have spent a week fixing the mistakes, but the work was due today and needed to be delivered to the clients by the end of the day. basically, my job was to make it look good and cover up obvious mistakes. oh well, at least i got that stuff out of my hair for the day. my arm is so tired from clicking on the mouse. 8 hrs day of analyzing documents and clicking on the mouse can sure strain your back. i can feel it throbbing right now.

gawd, last night brian pulled one of them spur of the moment things on me. i was so tired yesterday and i wanted to come home to lay down, watch some tv, and relax, but as soon as i got home he had his father, half sister, and step mom there. he was preparing to bbq. out of all nights he decided to do it on a week day. i had to prepare most of the stuff and by the time the night was over i was so exhausted. brian bought stuff that would have fed 3 families and we ended up cooking every thing that he bought. i was a little annoyed last night at the fact that by the time it was ready for his family to leave they packed up mostly every thing that was cooked. they left brian and i two brauts and two hot dogs. i mean, we had hamburgers, steaks, brauts, hotdogs, and we roasted some green chili. they took everything! i swear, i hate to be mean, but brian's family is damn greedy! when every one left i had a talk with brian. i let him know that i don't want him to do this on a week day anymore. it's just too much for me. especially since i work and go to school.

pay day is today. i'm contemplating on whether i should leave from here and go home. this week has really got the best of me. i'm totally wore out! i catch myself nodding off here and there. i can't stay focused and my eyes get blurry from lack of sleep. i know this is not healthy at all. i should probably make an appointment with the doc and see if there is something i could do.....

wooo hooo pay day is tomorrow. hmmmm...what am i going to buy? i need to buy myself something for a change. i'm always paying for bills. i should be paying off my taxes for last year. it never fails. i always have to owe the irs. i'm so jealous of the people that get back over a thousand. i probably owe over 2 thousand this year. i'm considered an independent contractor, so no taxes get taken out, and that sucks! it will soon change though, in a couple of months i should be out of this hell hole.....

gosh, i'm actually excited to see Joe Millionaire tonight. i watched it last monday and i was sick to my stomache watching those retarded girls crying because they didn't get picked. now come on, you mean to tell me these hoes want to meet joe because of his looks and personality. 9 times out of ten these chics are there for the money and fame. so far i've been liking the show, just because these girls are in competition to see if they can get him. i hear that 7 more girls are going to get eliminated tonight.....

anyway, over the weekend i did something drastic. i actually got my hair spiral permed. i had an old perm in my hair before and i was going to let the thing grow out and decide whether i wanted to keep it straight or perm it. i couldn't wait any more because this place that i went to was charging 65 bucks to spiral perm my hair. my hair is really long too so that price surprised me so i couldn't resist. i scheduled my appointment and got my hair done yesterday. i'm sitting here smelling the awful stench of the perm. i've been getting headaches off and on throught out the whole day today. tomorrow morning i will finally get to wash my hair. the lady at the salon told me not to wash my hair until tuesday morning. it turned out really nice. i love it and i feel good about my self again.....

finally! today is friday. i cannot believe i made it through this very long week. i will probably be leaving here from work in a little while. i got a call today from brian. he tells me that he wants to go out to kayenta this weekend. i don't know if it is a good idea. i finally get the weekend off and he wants me to drive to the reservation. i don't feel up to it. he was trying to bribe me though. i thought it was sooooo cute. he was telling me if we go out there to kayenta that we could get another kitten. i excited at first, but then i thought about it. the only reason he said this is to get me to drive out there. he knows that i want another cat, but so far, he has been telling me no until today. brian's aunt has a cat and the cat had a liter of kittens during thanksgiving. i wanted one, but i was told that i couldn't. i respected brian's decision and whined and begged the whole time. i never got the kitten so now he is bribing me......maybe i should take up his offer. my cat at home seems be unproductive now a days. she doesn't really play with her toys anymore. she lays on the arm chair sprawled all the time. the only time she gets up is to see if we are going to feed her. i want to put some more picture of her up, but i haven't had the time to do any thing these days. she has grown, but she is still my baby.....

awwww finally tomorrow is friday. saturday will be the first saturday in a long time that i will not be working. i want to work, but i think i need to give my body some rest. i left early from school today while the instructor was out again. i hate to do it, but i want to because then i don't have to stay as long at work. i know the other students are probably thinking why is she so special. oh well. they can feel what ever they want to feel, but they have to understand that i have to work too. most of the girls in my class do not work. all they do is have 4 hours of class every day and then they complain about home work and that there is too much work given out. come on! i go to school and work at the same time and they can't find time to do homework or finish their work on time? i just don't understand it. if i can jumble through work, school, and homework then they sure can do their home work.

here at work we are getting tons of work. so much work that we probably don't have enough people to tackle it. we have to contract another company to help us. it's sad, but that is the only way we can get things done around here. i hate for my boss to hire outside companies to work on our projects because most of the time their coding style is totally different from how we code. i just hate to see the backend work. i tend to sometimes be put on final qc. i quality check all the work people have done. it's a bitch, but i am the only person that knows how to do it. i think i want a raise since i have been getting so much responsibilites tossed my way lately. we are supposed to have our yearly review pretty soon, but there is no word from the boss man. he tends to ingore situations regarding us girls in the office. what an asshole. for all i care we can just keep bugging his ass until he gets to us.

i really don't know what to do for the weekend. maybe, i should go to movies. the last movie i watched ..... the two towers. that movie was the coolest. i really don't know what movies are good since i don't get to watch tv any more. i guess i can always check the internet to see the reviews on movies. the other day i bought a dvd...the back to the future trilogy set. it's awesome. i love back to the future. anyway i better get back to work since i've been fooling around for far too long.

wooo hooo... i aced my test today. i only missed one. i kick my self for that. i was rushing through my test. i was trying to jot every thing down like a crazy so i wouldn't forget. awwww well, an A is an A. Brian's brother came into town yesterday so i'm going to leave for the day. i think we are going to watch a movie tonight.

here at work....... i was doing a certain project a while ago. it's one of those projects that make you want to pull your hair out. it's so frustrating. for each project that i do i get a manual. i read the manual and i always find tons of mistakes or information that is conflicting. how is a person supposed read the manual and follow specified instructions when the manual isn't even freaking correct? i just don't know about this project manager that we have. he is so inconsistent and just plain sloppy. the information that gets back to me is never always right and so i just have to go with my instinct. if he says one thing and i know it is wrong i do it my way. i dont' give a crap whether he gets pissed or not. i just don't want to get instructions from a person who can't give correct information.

24 more days and counting. my bf's birthdays is on the 31st. he is going to turn 25. the BIG 2-5. lol. every one at work thinks i'm rocking the cradle. yeah right! i'm only 2 yrs older than he. i don't see whats the big deal. now if i was like 5-10 years older than him then i would understand, but 2? that is not rocking the cradle. i think brian is mature for his age and so am i, so THERE! I still don't know what to get him. i actually asked him what he wanted for his birthday. he says he wants a whole wardrobe, including shoes. i feel like just giving him the money so i can take him on his little shopping spree. i am thinking about taking him out to dinner too, but then i thought about it and i might just make dinner for him. he's been asking for beef stew and fry bread for a couple of weeks now.

tomorrow i have another freaking test. when is it all going to end? last week we had a quiz on mon, tues, thur, and fri. the instructor is putting a load on us now. it's hard to study for tests late at night especially when i'm so freaking tired from work. tonight i have to study.......i'm gonna for the evening. i just got a phone call and some people are in town to visit. my dinner and company are waiting...good nite y'all....

finals today. i had two tests. i got an A on one and a B on the other. i think i did pretty good. i didn't even study for the test the night before. i fell asleep on the couch while i was watching tv. i was watching some documentary on gangsters in LA. i wish i would have watched the whole show. today is friday. i'm debating on whether or not i should work tomorrow. brian's birthday is coming up. i'm contemplating on what to get him. he got his wish last year. i got him his playstation 2. i wonder if i should get him a game cube or an xbox or maybe i should just get him some playstation 2 games. i really don't know. it's hard to get gifts for men.

oh my gawd. a little while ago i made a trip downstairs to the womens restroom and as i pushed open the door to the first stall i saw such a horrid thing. a humungous log floating. sick! i must have said yuck really loud because the lady next to that stall chuckled. she must have seen the horrid site too. while i was doing my business i kept thinking to myself how can a women let out such a humungous thing. i mean it was HUMUNGOUS! she must have been in pain. that is probably the nastiest thing i've seen so far in my life. especially coming from a woman. i mean, personally i have never shitted out any thing that humungous in my life. heh. anyway, i thought i would share this with y'all since i had nothing else to do...good nite. ya'll have a good weekend.

i'm am so tired. i'm slacking here at work. basically, all i have been doing is internet surfing most of the time. i am so lazy from the day off on new years day. i don't even want to think about new years eve. sheesh, my cousin actually dragged us out to a bar. i was reluctant to go. i don't know what changed my mind, but i just remember saying what the hell. i have not seen my cousin in quite a while and she came into town to celebrate the new years with us. so i ended up at this one particular bar. i really don't want to say because i have visited there frequently in my crazy days. i am so glad i didn't recognize any one there. i couldn't even handle the one mixed drink i ordered. i sipped on that glass for about 2 or 3 hrs. that was it for me. so that was my new years. it was okay. i felt awkard going out again. i know it will probably be the last time too. i'm just not into the bar/club scene any more.

brian started a temporary job today. one of his former employers called him up to do a job that will probably last for a week. he is going to pay him under the table so his unemployment benefits wouldn't get stripped from him. Brian, has been a housewife for a couple of days. i come home and the place is cleaned and dinner is cooked. he is so sweet. i don't even have to ask him to do those things. i think these couple of days of work will get him out of the house. i know he was getting tired of staying home.

hmmmmm....guess what? i found like this big black pocket knife in my purse today. for some reason i stuck my hand at the very bottom of the purse today and felt the knife. i pulled it out and inspected it. then the thought of december 18 ran through my mind. i'm wondering if that asshole tossed his knife in my purse. i wonder if this is his knife...it's such a scary thought. i will probably have to ask around tonight and see if anyone i know lost a pocket knife...if not...then i guess its that asshole purse snatchers knife.....